Where is Nancy? She is here – and everywhere

My letter to Nancy to help ease her worries about dying.

The Rabbi at the nursing home Nancy was at told me of the essence of a conversation Nancy had with her over a year ago where Nancy talked about some of her fears. 

These included: not wanting to die because who will care about the things she does? How could she transfer her mission ahead? She saw no reports of activism on CNN.  This left her reluctant to address her mortality. The world is still a broken place. Has she made a difference? The world will not be perfect. Who will carry the torch?

I had sat on the notes until I found them again a few months ago. I felt if I was going to write her it better be then (or regret not doing so later). I wrote it and read it to her by phone and then I sent the text to her Art Therapist on July 1, 2020. She printed it and brought it to Nancy.

Then Nancy asked me for a framed copy. I had a copy matted with a pink mat and sent to her just weeks before her eventual death. I hope and believe that my letter helped ease her fears. 

Helping Nancy into her next world

And then there was the photoshopped photo I created and a talented friend executed. 

I wanted to help her conceptualize dying as a beautiful journey. The movie The Red Balloon was important in my family. I began to put together a series of .jpgs which my friend “collated.” 

I started out with multiple pix of individual red balloons. Then I found carved wooden galleons or gondolas to hang under the balloons and carry Nancy on her journey. I remembered the tiny galleon that Baron Munchausen flew in to the moon in Terry Gilliam’s great movie “The Adventures of Baron Munchausen”. That balloon was formed out of thousands of women’s bloomer-type undergarments if you remember. The bloomers were a funny theatrical touch but irrelevant for Nancy’s sake; but that galleon was perfect.

Last I chose a picture of Nancy wearing a Frida Kahlo t-shirt I had previously had made for her. I added a picture of me at about age 4.

My friend melded them together beautifully. I described it to her as he had worked on it and she cried. I brought her a printed it at the hospital. I believe the description and the print in her room as she died helped reassure her.